Friday, June 13, 2014

Five On Friday: The Confessional

So, this is my very first time at trying a link-up. I have to admit, I'm kind of nervous (is that bad?) This one seemed like a really fun one put together by Leslie at A Blonde Ambition! So, I thought, 'why not?!' It feels really good to confess some of the things that've been rattling around in my head for sometime now. Get them out into the blogosphere, if you will. So, without further ado, here goes nothing! 

Yes, it's true. I think I really am addicted to blogging. It isn't just a phase. I'm in love with everything about blogging. I adore writing. I stalk other mommy blogs like nothing else, following them, commenting, sponsoring them. Is it a bad habit? If this is wrong, I certainly don't want to be right. I find that blogging gives me a sort of "writer's high," when I'm in the groove of writing a post, the rest of the world just kind of falls away. I rarely even pay attention to the nagging endometriosis pain that is always there. Blogging is a comfort for me. Is there even rehab for this sort of thing? 

I'm not sure if this may seem silly. Eh, I suppose I don't really care if it does. Everyone has their own unique dreams, that's what makes us all beautifully different. I've adored writing since I was a child. I was on the school newspapers for years and years, wrote for the local newspapers in my town, I've even had the honor of writing for What To Expect's "Word of Mom" blog, as well as numerous other parenting websites. But I have always wanted to have my own blog, where I can freely write what I wish without censoring myself.
It all began when I stumbled onto a mommy blog one day, I was hooked, absolutely obsessed with blogging. I really hope to turn it into a business someday. But all good things take time, and I am taking baby steps, and I know that I will eventually get there!
I assume this probably stems from my eternal love of writing, but I just feel like there is nothing more pure than the blank pages of a brand new notebook. There is so much potential, so many stories to be written, feelings to be purged, emotions to be expressed. There is something incredibly cathartic about a blank notebook sitting in front of you. They do not judge, they do not talk, but the do listen. For this reason, I keep a collection of at least ten blank notebooks in my house at all times. If I feel like I cannot talk to anyone, or I just need to take a breather, I grab a notebook, and my favorite pen and just write....

Ah, yes. If I hadn't crashed and burned so horrendously, I would not be where I am today, in respect to my jewelry making business. A little after Syrus was born, I decided to try my hand at one of those direct-selling opportunities, you know, similar to those companies that sell the bags, wraps, jewelry, skin-care, and other things? You know what I'm talking about. So anyway, I chose a company that promised me the moon, the sky and the stars if I sold their jewelry. I of course, only had to drop a measly $200 to join their program. Spoiler: I totally spent that $200 to get the kit.  So, I took my kit everywhere with me, made up flyers, business cards, the whole shebang. I even went to local shows to try and peddle my wares. I think the most I made was $45. I certainly never made my money back on that kit. But....I started taking that jewelry apart, and putting it back together in a different way, and the rest, as they say, is history.

This isn't so much a confession as it is an empowerment thing for me. I used to be horribly ashamed of living with mental illnesses. I thought it made me strange, weird, different. I thought I would be ostracized. To be honest, I actually was ostracized by some people for it. It's a sad thing in today's day and age when we know so much more about mental illnesses, and there is still such a HUGE stigma attached to them. I struggle with the fear that my son my be affected by the same issues that I am, but I'm trying to take it all one day at a time. But I know that if he is affected by them, the one thing that I will teach him is that he is no different than anyone else on this earth. 
If you're curious about how mental illness affects my life, stay tuned for my post for A Canvas Of The Minds!

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